To Love Is To Trust
by twilightfan787
Summary: Edward and Bella are two weeks from the wedding but Bella decides to sleep with Edward before then. Will he give in to Bella's and his needs? What could possibly go wrong if he does? Read to find out...Warning: Rated M for a reason!
1. To love Is To Trust

**_Hey guys! In this story Edward and Bella are two weeks from their wedding and Bella decides she wans to sleep with Edward before then. Will he give in to Bella's (and his) needs? What could possibly go wrong if he does? Read to find out and don't forget to Review - I really want to know what you guys think._ : )**

**_WARNING: Rated M for Sexual Content_**

**_DISCLAIMER: The characters in this story are the creation of the wonderful Stephenie Meyer... All I did was give them a sex life_ ; )**

To Love Is To Trust

Alice was doing a great job planning the wedding, making sure that everything was perfect for her brother and me. She will be so bored after it's over, although Jasper will be ecstatic since he hasn't been able to have a conversation with her that didn't revolve around flowers or seating arrangements. I'm lucky to have such a great sister/ wedding planner, she even managed to convince Charlie to let me stay over her house for a sleepover, even though everyone was going on a hunting trip for three days, leaving Edward and me alone.

WOW! Three days just me and Edward - totally alone. Thinking this brought a smile to my face, maybe in these three days we can finally have sex? I want to and I'm ready but is he? Does he even want me in that way? What if he does and we do it? No of course we can't, Edward and his stupid boundaries... but I would not give up without a fight this time. This time I was determined to get what I wanted, after all, I have three days, anything can happen in three days and I am giving him what he wants, I am marrying him.

I was feeling less panicked about the wedding now that Charlie and Renee new about it and accepted the fact that me and Edward would be together whether they approved or not. It was harder before to be happy about something that caused the people I love pain, but everyone was happy for us, making me for the first time excited about getting married.

"What are you thinking about?" Edward whispered to me as we lay on his bed. My head rested on his perfect, muscular chest, while he held me in his arms. I lifted my head and looked into his mesmerising, gold eyes and became lost in them. His eyes are so amazing, so full of love...

I can't believe that someone so beautiful and wonderful could ever love someone like me. I am so plain and ordinary and he is so --- perfect!

"Bella? Are you ok?" Edward's husky voice snapped me from my internal conversation, he stared back at me with confusion, then I realised I still haven't answer him.

"Yeah, sorry I was distracted, what did you say?" He chuckled softly and stroked my hair away from my face, moving his hand down to my cheek. The feel of his cold touch was never something I would get used to, always so delicately gentle against my skin, leaving a hot trail that made me lose my breath.

"Breathe Bella" he whispered to me. I inhaled a jagged breath, inhaling his luscious scent and becoming dazzled. I shook my head trying to focus again. '_How does he do __that?__'_ I thought to myself while I tried to look at him without losing concentration again. He was laughing more now. I tried to hide my blushing face from him and lowered my head to his chest again.

"Why do you have to dazzle me Edward?" I pressed my face into his chest and inhaled his sweet scent. I loved the feel of my warm body pressed against his icy cold one. As if he heard my thoughts, his arms wrapped around my waist bringing my fragile body closer to his.

"It's not my fault you forgot to breathe" he buried his head in my hair, inhaling the strawberry scent he loved so much.

"So you being gorgeous as nothing to do with me forgetting how to breathe?" I questioned sarcastically.

"You are gorgeous" he whispered in my ear softly "but you don't see me forgetting to breathe" I looked up at him, my eyebrows raised with a '_are you for real_?' look on my face. He looked down at me angelically, smiling his crooked smile that I love so much.

I rolled my eyes at him "Ha! Very mature Edward" he can be so annoying sometimes, in a good way.

We stayed silent for a while, holding each other. I could stay here forever, in his strong arms I felt so save. It was not easy feeling save when I was away from him, knowing that The Volturi and Victoria where out there, waiting for me. I shuddered. Thinking about this was making me feel depressed; I had to take my mind of it.

I shifted my body so I was looking directly at Edward. His eyes where closed as though he was sleeping. I began to trace his flawless features with my hand, his eyes, the faint bruise -like purple under his eyes, the straight line of his nose. I moved my hand down to his luscious lips tracing the line of them with my fingers and his lips parted under my touch. I could feel the cool breath on my fingers.

I leaned forward, wanting to taste him. Edward opened his eyes, locking them with mine, we were inches apart now. I removed my fingers from his lips. My heart was beating faster against my chest as I felt his icy breath on my hot lips. Placing my hand on the collar of his shirt I pulled him down to me, closing the small gap between us and pressed my lips to his, kissing him softly.

His fingers wove themselves into my hair deepening the kiss. He was kissing me with passion, his lips moving eagerly with mine and I kissed him harder, wanting more, needing more of him. Edward placed his free hand on my waist, pulling me closer to him, he rolled on top of me gently, pressing my back against the bed, pinning me beneath him. I gasped at his action, loving the feel of his body pressed against mine. I knew we had crossed his boundaries and that any minute now he would pull away from me, leaving me craving his touch more than ever before. I decided to risk it.

My fingers knotted in his bronze, messy hair, I continued to kiss him with all the love and passion that I feel for him. I licked his bottom lip, loving the taste of him on my tongue and grazed my teeth over it, biting it softly. Edward groaned against my lips, kissing me hard and deep, he grasped my hands from his hair, lacing his fingers between mine and placed our hands on each side of my head, pressing them into the mattress.

My body was going insane, my heartbeat beating faster than ever before and even with Edward's cold body on top of mine I felt my body get warmer with every kiss and touch that we shared. My head was spinning. I was breathing hard and fast as his lips moved to my neck, licking and nibbling it gently. A gasp escaped my lips as he began to such on my neck; I bent my head back giving him more access to my neck, craving his touch.

This is everything that I have always wanted, all the boundaries gone. But I needed more... I wanted him more, more than I have ever wanted anything in my life.

I lifted my head and moved my lips to his ear, gently stroking it with my tongue. He moaned against my neck, his breath tickling my skin. Knowing that he liked what we were doing made me feel confident, maybe this was a good time tell him what I have been trying to tell him ever since I fell in love with him. "Edward?" my voice was a whisper against his ear.

"Hmm" he murmured back as he continued to kiss my neck and jaw.

I began to blush as I realised was I was about to tell him. "Make love to me" I murmured against his ear breathlessly, gently grazing his lobe with my teeth.

Edward tensed above me, his kisses seaced as he grasped what I had just asked him, he rolled of my body, laying next to me with a long sigh.

We lay there, our breaths relaxing into normal rhythms. Edward not responding to what I had said sent my stomach twisting painfully. I was too scared to look at him for fear of what I would see. I knew I had pushed him more that I should have, but if he can't handle it then why kiss me in such a way? Was playing with my emotions a game to him?

"Are you angry with me?" I needed to know how he felt no matter what those feelings might be.

Edward was silent next to me, I decided to risk it and look at him. He lay there staring at the ceiling, his face expressionless.

I was pushing back tears as I realised what the problem was. "What is the point kissing me like that Edward" I tried to keep my voice from braking "if you don't want me?" I closed my eyes willing myself not to show him how much I was hurting.

I felt his hand on my cheek, his thumb stroking reassuringly against my skin. "How can you think that Bella?" he sounded angry, I kept my eyes closed. "You know I love you... you know why we can't." He moved closer to me, resting his head on my pillow, "I don't want to hurt you Bella" he whispered. I opened my eyes and sighed at his excuse.

"God Edward!" I was angry now "Every time you push me away you hurt me... Just because you don't bite me and drink my blood it doesn't mean that it hurts any less." I pulled away from him leaving a gap between us again.

He kept his eyes on me and I could see the pain in them as he processed what I had told him. "You have no idea what you are asking Bella" the sadness in his voice made me feel guilty for telling the truth but I wanted him to know how he made me feel every time that we where together.

"I love you Edward... enough to trust you with my life. I know that you would never hurt me" I rolled on my side facing him, he had his eyes closed, taking in my words. I placed my hand on his cold, soft cheek, stoking it with my fingers "you need to trust yourself too."

My hand moved to his lips, stroking them tenderly "I love you...I want you" I whispered to him seductively, I traced the line of his jaw with my fingers, then his neck until my hand rested on his chest, he kept his eyes closed "I want your body" I continued, he began to breathe deeper, my hand trailed down lower, past his hard stomach to the slight bulge in his pants grabbing his manhood gently "I want you inside me Edward" He moaned roughly, the sound of him causing the sensation between my legs to intensify, making me wet and growing my need for him.

In a flash, Edward was no longer next to me, my hand lay where his body had been two seconds ago. _Damn I was so close_.

"Fuck Bella!" I looked around the room, squinting in the darkness at the direction where his rough voice came from. He was facing the wall with his arms pressed against it; he was breathing faster now.

"Are you crazy? Do you have a death wish or something?" he shouted at me as he continued to face the wall. I sighed, standing from the bed and walked towards him "if I die then I won't be with you anymore so no, I don't have a death wish." I answered calmly and wrapped my arms around his waist, he froze under my touch.

"I think you should go to sleep now" it sounded more like a command than a suggestion.

He is so stubborn. "I think you should stop being a coward and face me Edward" I pressed my forehead against his back, inhaling his delicious sent.

"Stop pushing me away" I said desperately in a low voice. I began placing kisses on his back while my hands moved up and down his chest and stomach, feeling his muscles through the thin fabric of his shirt. Our breaths were quickening again now but his hands were still pressed against the wall, so I ducked under his arm trapping myself between the wall and him, my hands rested on his stomach. I looked into his eyes noticing that they had become darker than they were before.

"Bella..." he closed his eyes, shaking his head from side to side. I refused to take this as a no, he needs to realise that he wants this as much as I do, that we can do this without it ending badly.

"Stop fighting me Edward" my voice was lower, pleading with him to give into me. I moved one of my hands to his neck and pulled his head down to mine, brushing my lips lightly to his. "Do you want me Edward?" I slid the hand that rested on his stomach, once again down to the now visible bulge in his trousers rubbing him though the material. He hissed and pressed his lips to mine harder causing me to moan against his mouth. His lips moved to my jaw, then kissed a trail up to my ear.

"Yes... You have no idea how much I want you" he whispered huskily against my ear, his icy breath sending my senses into overdrive.

I gripped his penis harder and stroked it, feeling it grow against my hand and making him growl from my touch. His lips collided with mine, he was kissing me harder than ever before and I loved it. I could feel the wetness in my panties, my clit burning and craving to be touched.

I broke the kiss, panting for breath, Edward's cold hands moved to my back and under my top, caressing my skin gently as he began to kiss my neck again. I gasped at the feeling of his cold hands against my hot skin.

"Then make love to me... I trust you..." I whimpered as I continued to rub his length with my small hand. His moans growing louder, I looked into his eyes and nothing but pure black stared back at me, but this did not scare me. He could kill me now if he wanted and I would die happy.

His hands on my back moved down to my butt, lifting me up and I wrapped my legs against his waist, pressing my sensitive area to his throbbing manhood, causing us to both moan at the sensation. I reached for the top button of his shirt and began unbuttoning it, moving my fingers over the hard muscles of his torso. Once his shirt was on the floor, I removed my top, glad that I wasn't wearing a bra tonight and leaned closer until my firm breast where attached to his chest, my nipples grew hard from the coldness of his body. _I can't believe how good this feels_.

"Bella..." his voice was a growl, causing me to thrust my hips harder against his. His hands went to my waist and pressed our bodies together more.

"Ohhh... that feels so good".

I continued to rub myself on him, his hardened penis caressing my clit through our clothes, creating blissful friction that was sending me closer to the edge. He kissed me with urgency, braiding his fingers through my hair with one hand and holding me to him with the other. Next thing I knew we were on his bed again, my back against the mattress with a very gorgeous Edward between my legs.

**_Hope you like the first chapter - Please review and let me know what you think. (It will motivate me to update faster)_ : )**


	2. Ecstasy

**Here you are guys; Chapter 2****: Ecstas****y**** is here for your pleasure. Enjoy and please let me know what you think. **

**Disclaimer: Stephenie Meyer owns the ****characters****; I'm just making them do naughty things 8P**

**Ecstasy**

**EPOV**

I can't take it anymore, with every thrust of her hips, her beautiful breast rub against my chest, her nipples hard, grazing my chest and asking to be touched. The wetness between her legs against my trousers smelled delicious, much sweeter than her blood, driving me to insanity. I look at her face as she moans, the sound sending a pleasant sensation to my engorged member. How did I manage keep our boundaries before this night? I want to touch her all over, taste her skin on my tongue, feel her breasts in my palms, I want to be inside her...I want to make her scream my name from the pleasure I cause her.

I kissed her deeply, securing her face to me with my hand in her hair and holding her to my body I moved us to the bed, pinning her to the mattress. The feel of her warm body underneath me, caused a growl to escape my lips.

I broke the kiss, looking down at her beautifully flushed face and traced the lines of her full lips. My eyes travelled down to her chest, taking in the sight of her breasts for the first time. The sight of them leaving me stunned. I can't believe she is going to be my wife.

"You are so beautiful" she looked into my eyes, blushing softly from my words. I kissed her cheeks, the heat of her blush like a blaze against my icy lips.

I trailed kisses down to her jaw and then to her neck licking it gently, her back arched in response, making my stomach flutter.

She ran her hands through my hair as my head reached the top of her breast. I kissed each one softly, then took them in my hands affectionately and massaged them with my fingers, watching her nipples become harder with every touch. She moaned louder as I captured her left nipple in my mouth, sucking and teasing it with my tongue. My hand gently caressed the right nipple, pinching it with my thumb and index finger.

"Edward" she groaned deeply.

I sucked harder loving the sound and began kissing her down her soft stomach. My tongue licked her belly button then continued down to the waistband of her pants.

I placed my fingers on each side of the waistband and pulled the sweatpants down, taking in the sight of her thighs and the black lacy material of her panties. I slip the pants all the way down and fling them somewhere behind me, she had great legs. I kissed her ankles and worked my way up her left leg, licking the soft skin.

I skipped her sensitive area breathing in her sent as I continued licking my way up, taking her erect peeks into my mouth once more before reaching her lips. I began kissing her softly, tracing her lips with my tongue, I felt her mouth open and her tongue met mine, brushing it softly.

I let myself go, allowing her tongue and mine to caress each other, all boundaries abandoned. Her tongue is so warm compared to mine and tasted so good. I continued to kiss her passionately as her hands begin to move down my chest, past my stomach to the buttons of my jeans, slowly unbuttoning and unzipping them. I moaned as she pushed them, along with my boxers down, releasing my erection. She removed them and they joined the floor like all the rest of our clothes.

I began to kiss her delicious neck once again, gently licking it as my hands explored her breasts, her moans where becoming louder as I massaged them, her legs. I lowered one hand to her inner thigh and pushed her leg up more, allowing me to rest in between her legs and then placed my fingers on the wet spot of her panties and began to gently rub her through the material.

"Ohh...Edward..." she gasped surprised by my action.

"Do you want me to stop?" I asked her. I rubbed harder on the spot hoping she would let me continue this task of pleasuring her.

"NO...ohh... Edward don't...stop" she whimpered shaking her head from side to side. I chuckled at her reaction, kissing her hard on her luscious lips before ripping her panties and continuing my task with no barrier between her hot flesh and my ice cold fingers.

I ran my fingers over her clit in slow circles, her moans matching my strokes. The feel of her wetness on my fingers making me want to be inside her even more, to have her wet, hot flesh around my member. I groaned at my own thoughts; _Patience Edward_ I remind myself.

I began to suck on her hardened nipple roughly and increased the pressure and speed of my fingers against her clit, wanting to give her more pleasure. Bella gasps louder and braided her fingers through my hair, pulling my head up until our eyes met and kissed me softly, her warm lips brushing mine. I felt her hands move down my back, to my butt, squeezing it before one of them wrapped around my rock hard erection.

"Ahh...Bella..." I groaned loudly as her impeccably warm hand moved up and down my member slowly. The movement of her hand was driving me crazy, never before have I felt this much pleasure. I lost concentration, slowing my movements against her wet nub.

Just as I was starting to get accustomed to her delicate strokes, Bella suddenly squeezed her hold on me tighter, her hand moving faster up and down my erection, sending a fresh wave of pleasure through my entire body, I moaned and began to massage her clit faster and harder. Bella was whimpering between moans and signalling to me that she was close to her orgasm. I kissed her hard, licking her lips before my tongue found hers, the taste of her, like her sweet flower scent was something I would never get used to.

Bella gasped as I entered a finger inside her wet, swollen vagina. The heat and smell of her was intoxicating, making me crave to be inside her more than anything. I moved my finger in and out, watching her squirm underneath me as she continued her fast strokes on my erection. I was getting close too, but I wanted Bella to reach her orgasm before I did. I added another finger inside her and moved them faster, within a minute she arched her back, screaming my name as she clenched around my fingers repeatedly, her body shaking with pleasure. _God __she turns me on! _I thought to myself as I watched her calm down from her release.

I withdrew my fingers and moved to lie next to her, watching her reach her orgasm only pushed me closer to mine. Her hand was still around my member, her movements had never stopped or slowed as she reached her peak and they certainly weren't stopping or slowing now. I could feel the tightening in my stomach become more intense. She began kissing my chest, her teeth grazing my hard flesh as her lips moved lower until they reached the part of my anatomy which was at Bella's mercy.

She looked at me; her brown lust filled eyes locking with mine as her hot tongue licked the head of my shaft before wrapping her lips around it.

"Bell...aahhh" I hissed and screamed her name as the convulsion of pleasure ripped through my groin, erupting icy venom from my cock into her mouth, she sucked hard and greedily, taking in every drop of my venom before released me from her mouth.

**BPOV**

Holy cow! I had never experienced such pleasure before, the way his hands moved, the way he kissed me tonight felt amazing. Every delicate stoke of his fingers against my wet sex sent me closer to the edge until pure ecstasy washed over me, leaving me breathless. I loved the feel of his large member in my mouth and the feel of his icy-cold venom as it made its way down my hot throat. It tasted so good, leaving me craving for more and the urge to have Edward penetrate me was stronger now than ever before.

"Bella that was...amazing" he said in a low and husky voice.

I straddled his lap pressing my breast to his chest. "I was just thinking the exact same thing." I whispered in his ear before licking it. I could feel his erection begin to grow underneath me. I tilted my hips slightly and felt his erection brush against my clit. We both moaned at the contact and I brought my lips to his, kissing him deeply. I continued rubbing myself on him without having him enter me; the feel of us brushing against each other was making me wetter that I already was.

I opened my mouth and a groan escaped my lips as his tongue began caressing mine, filling my mouth with the sweet taste of him. I broke away from the kiss, gasping for much needed air.

I looked down at Edward and he stared back at me, his deep black eyes locking with mine. They smouldered.

"Are you ok?" I asked him.

He nodded his head up and down and continued to look at me; he brought his hands to my breast, gently cradling them.

"Are you sure you want to do this" I asked roughly as he ran his fingers over my nipples.

Again he nodded his head up and down as his pitch black eyes continued to stare at me. I was nervous now, not because I knew this was going to hurt, but because of the way Edward was looking at me, like a predator looking in the eyes of his pray.

I was about to move my hips to allow him to penetrate me but before I could, he placed one hand to the back of my neck, pulling me down to him and began kissing me hungrily, his tongue immediately finding mine and I realised that his mouth was filled with venom.

_Oh no..._I thought to myself, I pulled away, breaking the kiss but Edward's lips never left my skin. He began to kiss his way down to my neck.

"Edward stop" I told him as he continued his trail of kisses down towards my neck but he wasn't listening.

"Please Edward don't do this, not now" I tried to move away but he tightened his hold on me, bringing my neck closer to him.

"Edward please, you're hurting me, please stop" I began to cry, realising that my pleading words where useless. I wanted him to change me, but not before I got to say goodbye to Charlie, to Renee, to my friends. But I knew that Edward was not about to change me into a vampire. I knew that as soon as the first drop of my blood touched his lips, he would not be able to stop. I knew that I was about to die.

He ran his nose along my neck, breathing in my scent and began to kiss it gently. I shivered as his teeth grazed against my delicate skin.

"I love you Edward" I whispered softly to him.

**Well how about that**** for a chapter? I hope you all enjoyed it as much as I did when I wrote it. Can I just say how nice it is ****that so many people are adding my story to their favourites and adding me as their favourite author. Thanks a bunch peo****ple! I will try to update soon. Please review.**


	3. Control

**Thanks a million for your wonderful reviews. I love every single one of them! Keep them coming guys and I will keep the chapters coming : )**

**Stephenie Meyer owns the character.**

**Control**

**EPOV**

Delicious. That is the only way I could describe the feeling of having Bella's naked body on top of mine. She tilted her hips slightly, causing my growing erection to brush against her sex, I could feel how warm and wet she was, even more so than before. I knew she wanted this and it took all the strength I had in me to stay still and not enter her.

Bella's lips pressed firmly on mine, kissing me deeply as she continued gently thrusting her hips against mine, my erect penis so close to her entrance yet not close enough. I felt her mouth slowly open and I opened mine, our tongues caressing, first slowly and then with urgency. She tasted so good; it reminded me of the taste of her blood.

All of the sudden, I was overcome with the smell of her sweet blood, it was singing to me, driving my thirst for her wild. Before I could stop myself, I lost all self control, releasing the beast inside me I had kept hidden from her for all this time. I wanted her blood, I craved it.

Bella pulled away from the kiss, she was looking at me, her brown eyes locking with mine.

"Are you ok?" she asked me. I tried to get a grip, to repress the side of me that took over my body, the side that wanted to kill her but I couldn't. The monster inside me was fighting with my human side and was winning.

I looked up at her and nodded, bringing my hands to her breasts. I could feel the blood running through every vain, torturing me with every pump of her heart. I kept my eyes fixed on hers, for hope that I would see something in them that would help me and stop me from hurting the most important person in my life but no matter how hard I tried to gain control, the pull of her sent was stronger and all I wanted was to devour her.

"Are you sure you want to do this?" She sounded so innocent, which only made my want for her stronger. I nodded again, unable to speak any words. My throat was on fire, I could imagine the feeling of her blood as it slid down it, quenching my thirst. My mouth was filled with venom, ready for the kill.

I removed one of my hands from her breast and placed it on the back of her neck, bringing her lips to mine with the hope that this one act could bring me back. As soon as my tongue found hers, she pulled away but my lips refused to leave her skin. I continued to kiss her, making my way down the soft skin on her beautiful neck.

"Edward stop" I wanted to stop, I had to stop, but I couldn't. I was no longer in control.

"Please Edward don't do this, not now" She tried to move away from me but I pulled her closer, bringing her neck to my lips.

"Edward please, you're hurting me, please stop" she was crying, begging me with her words but it was too late, my lips reached her neck. I pressed my nose against her skin, inhaling her sent. She was absolutely mouth watering. I gently kissed her neck. Only soft, delicate skin was separating my lips from her warm blood. I could feel her heart pulsating rapidly as I grazed my teeth against her pulse point.

"I love you Edward" she whispered.

Those three words were like an antidote, a cure for the monster in me and as soon as she spoke them, an overwhelming feeling of love washed over me and I was able to gain control again. I realises what I was about to do and stopped just as my teeth were about to sink into her skin.

"NOOOO!!" I screamed, throwing myself across the room, I had to get as far away from Bella as I could. I threw my clothes on without looking at her once and headed towards the door. I opened it and stopped.

"I'm sorry Bella"

**BPOV**

Was he sorry for what he was just about to do or for leaving me again? That question ran through my mind as I sat there staring at the door he had just ran out from. I had to find him, tell him that I'm sorry, that it was my fault. I was the one that pushed him to do this.

I got dressed as fast as I could and was just about to open the door to run after him when I was face to face with the second person I wanted to see more than anything. She looked at me for a second before pulling me into a hug and I was so happy to see her after everything that just happened that I began to cry.

"What am I going to do with you and Edward, Bella? We can't leave you two alone for even a couple of hours without me getting a vision about him trying to kill you." Alice sat me on the bed, holding me as I continued to cry on her shoulder.

"I'm sorry Alice...it was my fault...I didn't want that to happen...and now...now Edward left...because I made him...you know...and I don't know where he is...and he thinks it was his fault...but...but it wasn't...it was mine..." I hoped she understood everything I just said because I was crying to hard now to repeat myself.

"Shh..., it's ok, I know it's not his fault and it isn't yours either Bella" Alice saying this made me stop crying. How could she say it wasn't mine?

"Yes it was Alice, he said no but I kept pushing him to say yes until he finally gave in and then he lost control. Because of _me_." I looked at her and realises she was smiling.

"Why the hell are you laughing? We need to go and find him, he could be anywhere by now" Alice continued to sit there with a smile on her face. I stood up to leave but she pushed me back down on the bed.

"Edward is fine Bella, Jasper, Emmett and Carlisle are with him" she told me.

"Well where is he and why are they with him?" I was getting angry now. I stood up again and looked at her, wondering how she could be so called after everything that happened.

"I might as well explain to you the whole story of why we are here" she said as she grabbed my arm and sat me on the bed again.

"So we were all hunting up in the mountains about two hours from here, we stayed close just in case something like this was going to happen, anyway so we were all hunting when suddenly I had a vision of you...um convincing Edward to sleep with you, which by the way I must say you did very well, especially when you –"

"Alice I don't think we need to discuss that part of the vision" I said, blushing like crazy.

"Fine, anyway so then I saw that Edward was going to bite you and we left to try and stop him but he stopped on his own, isn't that great?" she asked with a big smile on her face.

"Ummm...NO! Why would Edward biting me be great?" I asked through clenched teeth.

"Not that part silly, the part where he stopped on his own." She was jumping up and down now but she looked at me and saw that I wasn't jumping with her so she stopped and sat down again.

"Bella, Edward lost complete control, he was about to drink your blood, his teeth where on your neck, all he had to do was..." she looked at me with sad eyes, not able to finish the sentence.

"But he stopped." She continued, "He stopped because you told him you love him. Those words helped him gain control again."

" Do you know how many other vampires would have stopped, how many would have been able to gain control of themselves before taking what they wanted, just because someone told them they loved them?" she asked me in a low voice, I shook my head.

"Not many" she whispered "He loves you so much that he was able to stop himself from hurting you, which is impossible for most vampires, but he did it."

"So what you're saying is that because I told him that I love him, he snapped out of it?" I asked.

"Yes, you see, when we hunt, we give ourselves over to our senses"

"I know, Edward told me" I said, remembering the conversation we had and how even Edward had explained how dangerous it would have been for me if that was ever to happen.

"We are unable to think clearly about what we are doing and who we are doing it too, not until we finish hunting" she continued, "so when I saw in my vision what Edward was about to do, I was so...scared, I thought that we would be too late..." I shivered as I thought about how close I came to losing my life, how close I came to never seeing Edward again.

"But then I had another vision where you told him you love him and he stopped." She looked at me with an even bigger smile on her face than before. "Now, can you see why it's great?"

"Yes" I told her smiling back at her. "But you still haven't told me where Edward is or why the others are with him."

"Edward is in the woods hunting, he got pretty upset, so the guys went to cheer him up"

"Oh..., do you think he will be ok?" I asked, just the thought of him being upset because of me made my stomach twist painfully.

"I think he will be, once he realises what happened just shows how strong he is as a vampire and how much you two love each other." I hope she was right, the last think I would want is Edward hating himself because of this.

"So what happens now?" I asked as I stood up from the bed.

"Esme and Rose are making you something to eat so we should go downstairs" she said, standing up from the bed also and began walking towards the door.

"And then what?" I asked as we made our way out of the room and down the stairs.

Alice turned around to look at me, "We wait for our men to get home." She said with a twinkle in her eyes.

**EPOV**

_I almost killed her, I almost killed her._ That thought ran through my mind, sickening me to my very core. I would never forgive myself for what I did tonight, never.

As soon as I left the house I had to hunt, the thirst was unbearable, it was as intense as my first day as a vampire. I quickly found a herd of deer and one by one I drank from them, letting the liquid extinguish the flame inside my throat.

When I finished hunting, I wanted to go back to the house to make sure Bella was ok, I wanted to see her and hold her, but I couldn't. What if she was afraid of me? She had every right to be but I couldn't bear the thought of never seeing her again, no matter how much I wished for her to have a normal life. I was selfish.

I was making my way back to the house, when I suddenly began to hear the thoughts of three vampires.

"What are you doing here?" I asked, although they were a distance away from me, I knew they had heard me. Two seconds later, Emmett, Jasper and Carlisle where standing in front of me.

"Alice had a vision" '_I'm sorry about what happened__'_. Carlisle voice sounded very calm, considering the fact that I almost killed the woman I love.

"Of course she did" I said bitterly. I turned away from them and began walking away from the direction of the house.

"Where are you going?" '_Does he__ know the house is not that way__'_Jasper though but I continued to walk in the opposite direction to the house.

"Edward, shouldn't you be getting home to Bella?" Carlisle asked. All three were walking with me now. '_You can't just walk away from her Edward__'_ Emmett thought, as he along with Jasper and Carlisle walked with me through the dark forest.

"I know" I replied "But I can't go back to the house" I said, my voice was barely a whisper.

_'__What does he mean__ he'__s__ not going back?'_

Their thought's screamed at me at the same time. I realised that all three of them had stopped walking and I stopped too, I turned around to face them. "How am I supposed to go back, when I tried to kill her?" I asked, even though they knew what had happened, I felt ashamed and I was unable to look at them anymore.

I immediately felt Jasper try to change my emotions but the dark look I shot him made him stop. '_Sorry__'_ Jasper thought, smiling slightly at me.

"Edward you have to see Bella, she is probably very upset right now –"

"All the more reason not to go and see her" I said, interrupting Carlisle. He looked at me and shook his head. '_You are absolutely absurd__'_he thought as he walked closer to me and placed his hand on my shoulder.

"I want you to listen to me Edward" he said in a very fatherly tone. "What happened tonight has shown this family how strong you are as a vampire." I began to interrupt him but he shook his head and I quickly fell silent. "You lost control and you almost took Bella's life –"

"How does that –"

"I haven't finished" Carlisle said with a stern voice. I sighed as I folded my arms across my chest and waited for him to continue.

"But you stopped. You managed to gain control again." I looked at Carlisle with a confused expression, wondering what the point he was trying to make was. "That took allot of strength Edward, not many vampires are able to do what you did." '_I'm so proud of you son__'_ Carlisle thought.

"How can you be proud of what I did?" I said in a harsh tone and once again I felt a familiar calming sensation wash through me, taking my anger away. "Jasper!" I glared at him and the sensation quickly went away, replaced once again by my own anger.

"Sorry, I'm just trying to lighten the mood" Jasper replied, he looked at Emmett who was smiling along with him and I couldn't understand how the situation I was in was anything to laugh about. I had to know what they were thinking.

I focused on Emmett_ 's__o he tried to kill her, big deal; at least he got some action__. Why can't he just stop being so stubborn so I can go and see Rose and then we can –' _I forced my mind to block his thoughts out and instead began to focus on Jasper _'he is as strong as Carlisle now and all he can think about is shouti__ng at me? Why isn't he going back home to Bella so they can finish__ what __t__he__y__ started,__ instead of __looking at me like h__e can hear waht I'm...oh crap__'_ He smiled at me and then turned away. I was very confused about his thoughts _'strong as Carlisle?' _What did he mean by that? Carlisle would never, nor has he ever harmed anyone, but I did, so how would what happened make my strength equal to his?

"What do you mean; I am as strong as Carlisle?" I asked Jasper as he continued to look away from me but it was Carlisle who answered my question.

"Well I think what he is trying to tell you is that what happened tonight shows us that you have the ability to refrain yourself from killing or biting another human, just like I can. You are able to control your vampire side because if you couldn't, Bella would have been dead by now." I looked at him, unable to fully comprehend what he meant by all this. I knew I still struggled with the scent of blood, especially Bella's so surely what he was saying had to be a mistake.

"No, you don't understand, I was really close to biting her, the only reason I didn't was because Bella said..." I thought back to the last words she spoke to me and the sensation that filled my body when she spoke them. "...she loved me and I was able to come back to my senses, it was as if I was trapped but I was able to break away." I realised that I was probably making no sense so I stopped talking.

"Edward, vampires are only able to gain control of the killer inside them only when they have experienced a human emotion fully. In my case, I have compassion for people, just like any human would have compassion towards another" His lips pulled up into a smile. "And in your case, you are able to love, just as strongly as a human. We have both been able to regain that human part of us which we lost when we changed and in doing so, we are now able to be around humans without the urge to drink their blood." Carlisle explained.

They were once again watching me, waiting for me to respond to what I had just been told, but all I could do was stare back at them and even though I wished that what Carlisle had said was true, I knew that it couldn't be possible. I was a monster and I always would be.

I felt myself instantly become calm, all negative feelings disappearing and I knew that Jasper was controlling my emotions again but this time I let him, allowing the peaceful sensation he was sending me to relax me. And then realisation clicked it.

"So basically, I will never have the urge to bite Bella again, because I love her so strongly?" I asked all three of them, who were still looking at me carefully.

"Nope, you will only have other urges" Emmett said with a laugh that echoed through the forest. I managed with great difficulty to ignore what he said and focused my attention on Carlisle who was now frowning at Emmett.

"Well why don't we go back to the house and see how you feel around her?" Carlisle asked.

I was still scared that she would not want me there, but the need to see her and be close to her was strong enough to push my fear aside. I just hoped that what Carlisle had said was true and the only way to find out was to be close to her again. "Ok, let's go" I told them and I began to run back to the house, back to my Bella.

**How will Edward act around Bella after everything that happened? Will he be able to control himself --- In more ways than one? You will find out in the next chapter. Please review!!**


	4. Reunited

**New chapter! Please read and let me know what you think.**

**Disclaimer: Stephenie Mayer created them, but the naughtiness is all me! XP**

**Reunited **

I had about two minutes before Edward and the others returned according to Alice. It had only been an hour since he left but the need to see him was exasperating. I paced up and down the living room nervously, I knew what happened tonight would have made Edward upset and I wanted more than anything to reassure him, after all if it wasn't for me being so selfish and thinking only about my needs none of this would have happened.

I stopped pacing and sat on the sofa next to Alice, "How long now?" I asked her impatiently. Alice looked at me and smiled, then walked over to the front door. As soon as she reached the door it opened, causing my heart to skip a beat at the site of Edward.

Edward's topaz eyes locked with mine instantly, sending the butterflies in my stomach fluttering. He walked through the door and stopped, leaving a good ten feet between us. I wanted to close the distance between us, but I dared not move. The last think I wanted was Edward loosing control again because of me.

"How do you feel Edward?" Carlisle asked but Edward and I were still looking at each other, lost and oblivious to anyone or anything around us.

The intense stare he was giving me was sending a warm feeling through my body; his eyes were full of love, making my heart melt. I realised I stopped breathing and drew in a jagged breath. Edward immediately looked away, breaking our connection and turned around to face Carlisle.

"You were right Carlisle" Edward said slowly. "I don't feel the same way."

His words sent a shiver through my entire body. "You don't... feel the same way?" I managed to ask with a lump in my throat. Before my tears had a chance to fall, Edward was kneeled in front of me as I sat on the couch. He grabbed my hands in his and kissed them.

"That's not what I meant love" he looked into my eyes and stroked my cheek with his hand. Relief washed through me as I realised that whatever didn't feel the same, had nothing to do with his feelings towards me. I also realised that Edward was close enough to kiss. I wrapped my arms around his neck, bringing my face closer to his, but before I could kiss him, he stood up and took a few steps back.

He kept his eyes on mine, letting me know that everything was ok between us, but I couldn't understand why he didn't want me to kiss him or be close to him. Was he still struggling with the scent of my blood?

"Edward" Carlisle's voice forced Edward to tear his gaze from mine "Is Bella's scent as strong as before?" Edward glanced at me, then closed his eyes and inhaled.

"Yes" he whispered "but it's different" he opened his eyes and my heart rate began to speed up.

His once topaz eyes where darker and continued to get darker as he moved his gaze from my face, down towards my body before meeting my eyes again. The intensity in his eyes caused me to blush. He looked at me like he wanted me, right here, right now.

I shook my head, trying to regain some composure as I remembered that all his family where in the same room as us. "Is it different in a good way or a bad way?" I asked with a shaky voice.

Edward smirked "Good way"

I was so relived and yet curious to what he meant by that, after all, if it was different in a good way, why could he be near me?

I stood up and walked towards him, stopping until I was about three feet away from him. He kept his eyes on me and I kept mine on his, trying not to think about the fact that six other vampires where looking at us.

"Why is it in a good way?" I asked him.

"It's better, much stronger..." his eyes moved from my eyes to my lips which caused me to lick my bottom lip instinctively. I took a step towards him slowly, I still wasn't sure whether he wanted me near him, but I couldn't help myself. All I wanted was to be in his arms again, to kiss him until I stopped breathing.

". . . only now, I don't have the urge to drink you blood anymore"

"You don't?" I took another step closer to him, waiting for him to step back but he didn't. His perfect, beautiful face and immaculate body was a foot away from me, I let my eyes roam over him, from his messy bronze hair to his designer shoes and up again until they fell on his flawless lips.

"No" he whispered.

The look in his eyes sent a shiver through my body and I didn't care that all his family where in the room with us, I didn't care that Jasper could feel the need I had for his brother, all I wanted was him. He was my future husband after all.

I took the final step toward Edward, pressing my body to his.

"So does that mean it's easier for you to be around me" I placed my hand on his chest, tracing my finger around a button on his shirt. He leaned down until his lips where inches from mine, his breath deliciously clouding my mind and making my heart beat faster against my chest.

I leaned in further. He pulled away.

"Can you guys give us some privacy?"

I was still standing close to him, waiting for his lips to touch mine but Emmett's voice snapped me out of my trance.

"Oh it was just getting good!" Emmett's remark caused me to blush. I looked towards them and they were all sat on the couch, as though they were watching a romantic film, the only thing missing was popcorn.

"Are you sure you can handle it Edward?" Carlisle asked.

I noticed the slight nod Edward gave his father and then he shook his head slightly at him, confirming my suspicions that they were having a conversation.

"Well if you think it's ok then we will leave you two alone" they all stood up and in a flash were by the front door.

"We will be back tomorrow night" Alice said and I knew they would be; Alice was never wrong. They all smiled at us before disappearing, leaving Edward and me alone for the second time in a day.

As soon as they left I felt Edward push me up against the wall, pressing his body against mine, his lips inches from my lips.

"Now, as much as I am sorry about interrupting us earlier, I have nothing against us continuing were we left off."

And with those words, his cold lips crashed onto mine, finally giving me what I wanted and sending a pleasurable sensation through my body.

_Yes, let us continue shall we?_

**Sorry guys! It took me a while to update because my laptop broke, but it's fixed now (as you can see). I didn't want to leave an author's note to explain because . . . well they suck!**

**Thank you all immensely for all your great reviews. I love every single one of them and I love you all for writing them. Now, review this chapter for me guys and I will love you even more. 8P**

**X**


	5. Addiction

**So I know I haven't updated in a while, but just so you all know I am still alive lol.**

**This chapter starts off with what happened in the last chapter but in EPOV to refresh your memories just in case you all forgot. **

**Disclaimer: Stephenie Mayer created them, but the naughtiness is all me! **

**Addiction**

The second I opened the door Bella's scent hit me full force, deliciously feeling my mind and intoxicating my whole body with her unbelievable fragrance. It was very different, more powerful and enticing than ever before. It was also different because I no longer craved her blood.

My eyes locked with hers as she sat across the room, the sight of her beautiful body combined with her scent made my body shiver and I knew that everything between us had changed, for I had never wanted her as much as I did now.

Her blood held no interest to my thirst anymore, but it sent my body wild, controlling me and filling me with a desire so strong that overpowered my senses.

"How do you feel Edward?" Carlisle asked but how could I possibly describe what I was feeling? Looking at Bella was making my whole body ache with a need I had never felt before. It was painful yet exhilarating all in one. I stared into her deep brown eyes, mesmerised by her beauty, her scent, her body. How could I begin to explain the magnitude of my love, my need for this wonderful human before me?

The jagged breath Bella breathed brought me back to reality. I looked away from her, unable to endure another glance at her perfection.

"You were right Carlisle" I said slowly. "I don't feel the same way."

The sound of her heart beating faster brought my eyes back to hers.

"You don't... feel the same way?" her voice was barely a whisper and the anguish in her eyes made my body throb. I was instantly in front of her, holding her delicately warm hands in mine and brought them up to my lips, kissing them gently.

"That's not what I meant love" I would _never_ mean what she thought I meant. I looked at her intently, letting her know without words that I still felt the same way about her. I caressed her smooth cheek and saw the hurt leave her eyes.

Bella wrapped her arms around my neck, bringing my body closer to hers, but before she could press her delicious lips to mine I moved away from her, for I knew that one touch of her soft lips would not be enough to satisfy the hunger I held for her.

I kept my eyes locked with hers as I distanced myself, hoping she would understand my reasons.

"Edward, is Bella's scent as strong as before?" Carlisle asked, I closed my eyes and breathed in Bella's scent.

The smell of her warm blood was as strong as ever, but it no longer made my body tense, no longer filled my mouth with venom. Yet it still sang to me more than any other person's. Bella was still _La mia Cantante_, but it was her body that I craved, not her blood. She was no longer a temptation to my vampire self. To the man in me however. . .

"Yes." I answered Carlisle "but it's different." I opened my eyes and looked at Bella, her brown eyes locked with mine and her heartbeat increased. She was so beautiful, so . . . sexy.

I couldn't resist anymore and allowed my eyes to travel the length of her smouldering body, from her neck, down towards her breasts, her small waist and hips, towards her long legs and back up to her angelic face. I had never felt more human than I did now and as I looked into Bella's eyes I knew that there was no stopping me from giving her what she wanted because I wanted the same thing. I wanted her.

"Is it different in a good way or a bad way?" Even her soft voice drove me insane with want.

"Good way" I smiled, a very, very good way.

Bella stood from the couch and began walking towards me, her scent getting more powerful with every step she took and it took all the strength in me not to grab her and ravish her, but I had to control myself at least until my family left us alone.

"Why is it in a good way?" She asked such an innocent question, the answer, however, was not an innocent one to give. If my family where not present I would tell her the truth, or rather show her, however they were all looking at the two of us and listening to every word we spoke, so I chose my words carefully.

"It's better, much stronger..." I explained, my eyes focused on her lips and the urge to kiss her was causing me actual pain. I watched her, entranced as she gently licked her bottom lip and moved closer to me. She would definitely be the death of me.

". . . Only now, I don't have the urge to drink your blood anymore" I continued, trying to distract myself from the sight of her body.

"You don't?" She sounded surprised as she took another step closer to me, we were only a foot apart now, I could feel the heat that radiated of her body, could smell the strawberry scent from her hair. Her eyes travelled over my body and back up to my face until they rested on my lips.

"No" I whispered, the way she looked at me was pure torture, I could see the want in her eyes and felt my control breaking.

Bella took the final step towards me and crushed her hot body against mine "So does that mean it's easier for you to be around me?" She asked as her hand rested on my chest, I could feel her playing with one of the buttons of my shirt.

I couldn't take it anymore, I leaned down, bringing my lips inches away from hers. I could taste her scent and for the first time I was able to fully enjoy the taste without being afraid of the consequences.

Bella leaned in closer, her heartbeat racing with anticipation.

_KISS! KISS! KISS! KISS! KISS! KISS!_

The same word was screamed in my head by my family repeatedly, causing me to pull away.

"Can you guys give us some privacy?" I made sure my words sounded more like a command than a request.

"Oh it was just getting good!" Emmett shouted, making Bella blush which wasn't helping the little control I had.

"Are you sure you can handle it Edward?" Carlisle asked cautiously, but I knew what had happened before would not happen again. I nodded my head, reassuring him.

_Son, I don't want you to do something you are going to regret, maybe it would be more prudent if Bella didn't spend the night – _

I shook my head at him before he could finish his thought, having her go home was not something I was willing to negotiate, especially now that I had more control of my vampire self that I had ever had before.

"Well if you think it's ok then we will leave you two alone" Carlisle spoke as they all stood and made their way towards the front door.

"We will be back tomorrow night" Alice informed us, she turned towards me and smiled wickedly _Have fun my darling brother_ where her last thoughts to me before she and the rest of my family left.

As soon as they were gone I turned to Bella and pushed her against the wall, pressing my body into hers, something I craved to do the moment I stepped foot in the house.

My lips where once again inches from hers.

"Now, as much as I am sorry about interrupting us earlier, I have nothing against us continuing were we left off."

When my lips made contact with hers my body went wild, it felt as though I had not kissed her in days or months. Every time I used to kiss her, the part of me that craved for her blood would take over, causing my mouth to fill with venom, which in return, caused me to have to end the kiss and pull away.

But now, I kissed her deeply with abandon, with passion, moving my lips with hers hungrily and letting the part of me that craved for her body take over, something I could allow, because this was a part of me that could not harm her.

The more we kissed, the more I pressed my body closer to Bella's; I wanted nothing more that to be surrounded by her. I could not get close enough, kiss her enough to satisfy the hunger . . . the need I had for her.

Bella pulled away, gasping for air, I watched the excitement slowly leave her eyes with every breath she took. I ran my thumb over her bottom lip, which was deliciously red and swollen from our kiss.

Guilt flooded my body instantly as I thought of how close _I_ came to harming this amazing and beautiful girl, how I almost lost her because of _me_. I was disgusted with myself, how could I let that happen.

I dropped down on my knees, wrapping my arms around her waist and pressed my face against Bella's stomach "Bella . . . I am so sorry . . . I lost control . . . I . . . I didn't . . . I'm sorry . . . I'm a mons –"

"Edward if you say that word I will walk out of this house" I pulled my head away to look up at her, her voice was angry but her eyes were filled with love. She placed her hands on either side of my face.

"I'm still here Edward, you stopped yourself, there is nothing to forgive and even if you did bite me I would have still forgiven you" she smiled sadly at me.

I refrained from rolling my eyes at her absurd comment "But I was really close, I almost . . ." I pressed my face once more on her stomach. "I almost lost you because of me." I sobbed tearlessly.

"You will never lose me, I am yours forever" Her words where so intense and I wanted nothing more than to believe her. She brought her hands to my hair, running her fingers through it.

"I love you so much" I whispered before placing a kiss on her stomach.

I heard her heart beat increase "I love you too" she whispered back as I continued to place soft kisses on her stomach, feeling the warmth of her skin through her top.

"Edward . . ." her soft voice made my cold body warm.

I moved my hands to her back, caressing it before pulling her body closer to mine; I continued to kiss her stomach and pressed my nose against her to smell her mouth watering scent.

"Do I really smell better than before?" She asked huskily.

I chuckled "Yes, I didn't think that could be possible but your scent is driving me more insane than it ever did before." I told her, trailing kisses from her stomach, up between her breasts to her slender neck. Her breathing was getting heavier again and she tilted her head to the side, giving me better access to her neck.

"You smell so good" I ran my nose along her jaw as I kissed her delicate skin, her hands moving up and down my back as she hummed in pleasure.

"Why is my scent different, do you think?" I stopped kissing her and looked into her deep brown eyes.

"I think it's because I have more control over the vampire in me, I no longer crave your blood so I am able to enjoy the fragrance more without fear of hurting you." I brought her wrist to my nose and inhaled still amazed by how her scent made my body react.

"So I'm not your brand of heroin anymore?" There was a hint of sadness in her voice.

I placed my arms on either side of her face and pressed her body once again between the wall and me.

"Actually love, I am still very much addicted to you" My lips brushed against hers with every word I spoke, before they pressed firmly onto hers. I kissed her with all the need I had for her, running my tongue across her lips before her mouth opened. Her hot tongue caressed mine and her taste, her touch, her scent was my undoing.

I slid my hands down her back until they rested on her rear, lifting her up and pressing her hips into mine. The feeling caused a moan to escape both of us. I pulled my mouth from hers, watching her deliciously moan as I pressed her more firmly against me.

"I want you Bella, right now"

**Hot cliffy, I know but remember, good things come to those who wait! (I'm still waiting for Edward sigh)**

**So hope you all liked this chapter, I love writing in EPOV (maybe it's because I fancy him) I wanted to show how different Edward feels towards Bella now compared to before.**

**Just so you all know this story will be mostly lemons from now on: 1 – 2 – 3 YAYYYY!!**

**Anyways, thanks for all your great reviews, they are greatly appreciated. . . (Hint: This is the part when you leave me a review). XD**


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